I can find nothing new and interesting to add to the previous 10 years of praise heaped upon Pavement's debut, the recently re-released Slanted and Enchanted: Luxe and Reduxe.

To this end, I contacted the album itself at the Indie-Rock Retirement Home for Classic LP's and scored an exclusive interview regarding its recent "discovery" by an entirely new generation of musical elitists.

AB: I see you share your room with Radiohead's OK Computer LP. How is that working out? Do you two get along?

Slanted & Enchanted (S&E): It was difficult the first few weeks. It kept walking around talking about "unborn chicken voices" and how it was going to be king someday, or something like that.

Then when I was contacted about being brought out of retirement, OK kept uttering snide comments after game hour about how it did not need bonus tracks to be a No. 1 seller. At least my release was consistently praised, for all that is worth.

AB: About the bonus tracks. There are many purists out there who are screaming, "Naked foul!" (awkward pause for laughter) regarding any change to the holy grail of lo-fi that you have come to represent. How do you feel about this criticism?

S&E: Those people need to grow up and realize that 40-year-olds can't get away with those tight black pants anymore. Get over your past, and buy some Dockers that hide your chubby thighs. I was re-released with two John Peel Sessions, the Watery Domestic EP, the Watery and Slanted Sessions and a live concert at Brixton Academy, for a reason.

The music defined the period of my release, and it is damn good. It's about time Pavement fans heard those beautiful early moments where the band couldn't decide if they wanted me to be The Fall B-side compilation, or a "rock-a-billy by way of Sonic Youth" indie-rock band. I would hold "Nothing Ever Happens" or "Sue Me Jack" against anything on the album-proper, including "Here"!

AB: Strong words, especially considering all the cute girls who are going to faint hearing not one but two different versions of that same song on your expanded version.

S&E: Well É for them I would play "Here" continuously. I do love those beautiful horn-rimmed stares of cute co-eds. (Pause as S&E stares off into the distance.)

AB: Right. Moving on, what would you say is your main selling point to the new generation of could-be Pavement fans?

S&E: I was produced during a bleak time in American history. There was a Bush in office, and the economy was in a bad way, much like it is now. I was born out of depression and resentment of a generation that had preached about opportunity when there was little to be had.

A lot of what I originally spoke out against is still very relevant. There are timeless relationship songs, such as "Summer Babe (Winter Version)," "Loretta's Scars" and "Frontwards" that people still need to hear, but there are also many other songs regarding world issues that remain near and dear to old and future fans.

"Conduit for Sale!" still gets people pumped with its chant of "I'm trying/ I'm trying," and "Two States" needs no interpretation to understand its message.

I would say to any skeptical future Pavement fan, give me a listen after an incredibly emotional day, good or bad.

Throw me on deck and listen at full volume with your eyes closed as you grip the speakers and truly feel what I have to say.

I represent a harmonious chaos, a peaceful riot or any other false dichotomy you can imagine. I will provide for what you need.