An initiative pending qualification for the November elections would amend the state's constitution, allowing for the possession of up to three ounces of marijuana by an adult. Before this happens, voters must give their approval this fall and again in 2004.

So, if you are looking for a brand-new place to settle down after your hard work at this university, and you would also like to kill those brain cells you didn't toast while getting drunk these past four years, come on down to Nevada where your mind can be as fried as the deserts outside Las Vegas.

Just think. Get up every morning and pack your kids off to school. Go to work. Punch at your computer all morning long. When lunchtime rolls around, forget that cigarette break. Mellow out and share a joint with your co-workers.

Work hard the rest of the afternoon. Stop by the grocery store on the way home. On your grocery list are milk, eggs, something for supper and ¯ oh, yeah ¯ a bag of pot!

That's the way your life can be when you come settle down in the good old state of Nevada. Just think, wouldn't it make you proud to see your future teenage children holding a beer in one hand and a blunt in the other? Yep, they'd be on the fast track to success.

If you're a really good parent you can see your child on the local news 20 years from now as a politician campaigning for the legalization of crack cocaine. His faithful wife, a hooker struggling with her herpes infection, campaigns for him in the gambling bar beside your home on Bum Boulevard. This is the life you've been waiting for.

Right now, Nevada is just pushing for legal marijuana. But imagine what's next. One drug always does lead to another; so don't let your hopes down all you hard-core crack heads, LSD shooters and crystal meth fans. Your day's coming just around the corner.

And guess what? There are benefits for other people too. While tobacco farmers are having such tough times with the anti-smoking campaigns, they can split their crops in half and start farming some marijuana as well. Agriculture industry, your day has come!

Also, think of the benefits for law enforcement agencies. They won't have to worry about silly things like illegal drugs anymore. They will be hard at work picking up all those murderers and thieves out there trying to support their drug habits.

So now we have a regular cycle. Government makes criminals, police officers arrest criminals, government makes more criminals and police officers arrest more criminals. It's the best plot the government has come up with since taxes.

So everyone out there in opposition of marijuana, just sit down, take a minute, roll a joint, and think this through.

Drug addicts won't be arrested, kids will know its okay to use drugs, tobacco farmers won't lose their jobs and the police force will finally have other things to focus on besides drug addicts (because right now that's just all they are worried about).

So what are you waiting for? Get your pot-smoking self over to Nevada, where marijuana is just another weed in the field.