1. The forced social situation.

These are probably the worst of the bunch. In these situations, you're stuck with about 100 people you don't know and are forced to "mingle."

These are pretty common during freshmen orientation and I got a nice experience with it in August during student adviser training. Conversations are pretty much always as such:

Person One: "So, what's your name?"

Person Two: "Person Two, and yours?"

Person One: "Person One. Where you from?"

Person Two: "Oh, I'm from Cleveland? You?"

Person One: "I just live in Winston." (Shakes head and waves hand).

(Person One and Person Two laugh nervously)

And then it ends. The two guys stand there for a while, waiting for the other to say something, but neither one does. So they just stand there and wait until someone else walks up or until one of them has to leave. If there are cups with drinks involved they look at the cups, twirl their fingers around the tops of the cups and take big sips of beverage, even if there's not any left.

2. The acquaintance meeting.

This is when you see a person that you had a class with last year, or maybe with whom you're still in a class, but you don't really know them. This also could be someone who previously lived in the same dorm as you but you only saw in passing. You may know the person's name, but only because you learned it by the professor's or someone else's saying it, not by directly asking the person. These are the situations in which no one knows what to say. You kind of know him or her, and you feel you should say something, but you have no idea what. In many cases, this ends with both people passing each other by and not saying anything, because as you were passing you were both thinking about what to say. If something actually does occur, it's usually just an uncomfortable nod or wave, or this:

Person One: "Hey."

Person Two: "What's up?"

Person One: "Not much."

Person Two: "Classes goin' okay?" (Or maybe "Where ya livin'?")

Person One: "Not bad." (Pause).

Person Two: "Well, see ya later."

Person One: "Yeah, later."

This one can happen anywhere, too. Just around, at a party, while you eat. It's ubiquitous.

3. The awkward announcement.

For this one, I have to use an example from a couple weeks ago. I was walking around on the Quad on a rainy afternoon when these two guys walked by carrying a giant sub sandwich. One of them yelled, "This will make us kings!"

Now, this kind of statement brings up a number of questions to those within earshot. First, why would it be necessary to bring attention to a sandwich that's already 40 feet long? Second, to whom exactly is this guy trying to make this possibility known? Me? Because, I mean, I'm happy you've got a sandwich, but what you do with it's your business.

And third, would said sandwich really make these guys kings? Yeah, back in the Middle Ages they crowned a guy ¯ I think his name was King Horace VI ¯ because he "Did bring forth the towering structure of bread and toppings, and it indeed did have five succulent deli meats, and lo, thereupon was stacked lettuce, tomato, onion and ('tis almost sin to say!) seven different cheeses," but they don't do that anymore. So not only was what this guy said weird, but it was a lie. And it left everyone that heard it just scratching his or her head.

4. Class.

Everyone's done this one. This is on the first day of class when everyone just kind of sits there and doesn't say anything. Now, I don't mean the time actually during class, when there's a professor there to facilitate discussion. This is the time before class, when people are just É there, twirling their pencils. Some classes get by this one and there's actual conversation before class, but it's almost always between people who knew each other beforehand.

However, most of the time, if there's any kind of conversation, it's just downright uncomfortable.

Everyone agrees, everyone says something safe. Someone tells a joke that's only kind of funny and everyone laughs a fake laugh. The teacher walks in, and brows are wiped.

5. The cashier/patron interaction.

This happened to me on Sunday at Pizza Hut.

Me: "I'd just like a pepperoni, please."

Cashier: (Gets the pizza and swipes my card).

Me: (Picks up pizza and starts to leave).

Cashier: "Hey, don't you want anything to drink?"

Me: "No, I'm good, thanks." (Cashier shakes head, I feel extremely guilty).

Now, I could go on with more of these, but I think I'll stop here. If you're wondering if there's a point to any of this, other than simply to point out how awkward so many situations are, I can only say that I can't offer any solutions to the problem. But then again, I wonder if being awkward is really a problem? I mean, those awkward times perhaps just make the comfortable moments with friends even better.

Maybe that's too sappy.

Oh, now I feel awkward.