However, this short column should level the playing field for even the most inexperienced and unattractive freshman males.

First and foremost, know your limits. That means the dude whose GPA is bigger than his endowment (yes, a unit conversion needs to take place, but you get the point), should not pursue the attractive redhead in his math class that looks like Angie Everhart. Select instead a woman who is more on your level, and by no means does that mean she needs to be unattractive. Find someone who has something in common with you, and get to know her before pursuing her on a sexual level.

On a similar note, do your research. Make sure the girl with the mesmerizing eyes in your French class does not have a mon petit chou. Double-check to make sure the hot blonde you always "coincidentally" meet in the gym actually has a crush on you, and is not dating a 240-pound linebacker.

Take full advantage of every opportunity you have. You have a lot of beautiful freshman girls living just down the hall; seniors do not. Go get 'em, tiger! Do not go to a frat party to pick up freshman chicks. Why do you think the party was thrown in the first place? So upperclassmen could hit on freshman girls.

Furthermore, grow some balls. Yes, in order to get a girl in the sack, you actually have to talk to her. Show some initiative. No, you are not telepathic; you will actually need to open your mouth to communicate. Even if you are not an interesting guy, learn to fake it. Note: Girls do not care if you beat Mortal Combat II in seven and a half hours. They do care if you took a shower today.

Which brings me to another point, take care of yourself. We are not all Abercrombie & Fitch models, so do not try to be. Girls take note of this: we are not all Abercrombie & Fitch models.

However, use deodorant, clip your nails and shave. Not shaving for a few days does not make you look "rustic," it makes you look like a bum. Also, tanning should be an activity reserved for females.

When you think you have a shot, the most important thing you can do is, make her feel special. Do not talk about all the girls you met at the ice cream social, or your former girlfriend who was a back-up dancer in a 98 Degrees video.

Do compliment her, especially on something that she might be insecure about, but be honest and sound sincere.

Do not tell a girl she "has nice jugs," use your brain and be polite.

Finally, when you have a foot in the door, be romantic. Flowers and notes are always nice, and the ladies certainly appreciate it.

Oh, and if your friends make fun of you, remind them that you are not the one who relies on the Internet for an interesting evening.

Take your prospective girlfriend on a romantic picnic, or stargazing on a warm summer night. Be the man of her dreams and she will rock your world.