MENO: But, Socrates is rock something that can be taught?

SOCRATES: Well, Meno, in the old days of Chuck Berry there were many wise men of great talent. They claimed to have the talent to teach at the school of "rock," but here and now we lack these endowments. The fact is that far from knowing whether it can be taught, I have no idea what rock itself is, nor have I ever met anyone who did know. What do you say rock is?

MENO: Socrates, it is easy to see that there is a form of rocking for every age, gender and ethnicity. An old man's rock consists of Miles Davis' Kind of Blue. A little girl's rock is Billy Joel's Greatest Hits: Vol. II. Finally, a young hipster's rock is Liars' They Threw Us All In A Trench And Stuck A Monument On Top.

SOCRATES: What luck, I asked for just one form of rock and you gave me three. This plurality does not serve in our quest for the one true rock, though. Let us pose a hypothesis regarding the last of your examples. The Liars' latest album is one that would beg the question of whether or not rock can be taught. Derivative of their influences yet not so completely homogenous as to be left without a stage to dive off, the Liars are a fine example of how the art form could be passed from teacher to student. Allow us to tentatively say that They Threw Us All In A Trench And Stuck A Monument On Top does indeed rock out due to instruction, and explore this assertion.

MENO: Allow us to investigate the individual songs on the new album in hopes of justifying or denying the claim, Socrates.

SOCRATES:Agreed. The Liars ape a strong Velvet Underground influence with the opening track, "Grown men dont fall in the river, just like that." Bells and chimes flood the ears before the sonic euthanasia attack of fuzzed guitars and a butt-wiggling bass-line pave the way for the chorus of "we've got our finger on the pulse of America." Clearly, these gentlemen have performed laborious study in the Noel Gallagher chapter of their "Whiny-Rock-Star" textbook.

The fact that the song precedes the catchiest track on the entire album, "Mr your on fire Mr", makes this over-confidence forgivable, and even Fugazi's Ian MacKaye would applaud the valiant effort at bottom-heavy post-punk. Listening to a line such as "do the twist before ice-cream" is nearly as fun as corrupting the youth.

Finally, all of this prepares the ears for the ultimate evidence of learned rocking, the inevitable name-dropping of old-school hip-hop acts within a song title, the case in point being "Tumbling walls buried me in the debris with ESG." While the song does tend to take the more negative aspects of the original group's sound, it is a delightful aural pleasure, nonetheless.

MENO: Somehow or other I believe you are right.

SOCRATES: Well, I am Plato ... err, uhm ... Socrates. But this does not support our original hypothesis that the Liars have not expanded completely upon their "teachers" given knowledge of rock. To show control of their art, they have to illustrate some sign of their knowledge, be it a novel idea within the method, or at least a synthesis of different influences. I see this only in the final track, "Why midnight walked but didnt ring her bell." Despite the fact that the track continues for 30 minutes, the final 23 being nothing more than just an endless loop that I have only listened to in its entirety once, it is still the most poignant and true song of the entire album.

Not only does the group make use of every noise-rock and post-everything technique ever known to mankind, they build upon those ideas with a rolling guitar line that both lulls and frightens at the same time.

While I may never be certain of what virtue or justice is, rest assured that the essence of rock is alive and known, and being practiced by today's exuberant youth.