Many university students will ask, "Well, what's the difference? We all bust our butts doing work all semester, why should finals be any different?"

The answer? There are no parties, no outlet for frustrations. Why do you think we have post-exams? I digress.

It has been quite a year, filled with ups and downs, flavored condoms and pornography, DTR's and Walks of Shame.

It has been a learning experience for everyone. For example, freshmen learned that hooking up with a senior wouldn't lead to a lifelong committed relationship. Hell, it won't even get you a date.

Me? I learned that you can't print the word c--- block. Who knew?

I also was recently informed that this column has become a teaching tool, and not just in the bedroom either. One of my friends told me the other day that the column informing freshmen of the true nature of the hookup was used in an HES class to demonstrate the perils of promiscuity.

When I first began to consider writing this column, I saw it as a satire of life here at Wake Forest. Who knew it would turn into a manual of what not to do?

This too, however, is beside the point.

The point is that it is April 25, 2002. Soon our illustrious seniors will be off on their own, doing bigger and better things - or they'll be working at Abercrombie & Fitch selling clothes that they now cannot afford.

Soon we will welcome a new freshman class who will be just as clueless and daft as this year's freshmen.

However, I feel that the class of 2005 has an unfair advantage over the class of 2006 (man, that makes me feel old). I feel that re-writing the same old "Welcome to Wake" column would be redundant and boring for the rest of the campus. There is no way to make it new and fresh. Things don't change that quickly, especially here. So I have a mission for the rising sophomore class.

Show these poor underlings the ropes. Help them learn from your mistakes so they don't make the same ones. Don't let them make booty calls. Save them from the Walk of Shame. Tell them to avoid the chocolate flavored condoms! Impart my wisdom unto them as I have imparted it unto you! It is in your hands! Don't you feel important?

Ahhh yes. It's the end of the semester. Five more days of class, soon to be followed by a week of finals. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. For some, it is graduation. Others, it is post exams. For a fortunate few, there are both.

If you're going to post exams, remember three things. First, stay at the Helms. They have "nipple" rooms. The clever person who thought that up demands respect.

Second, don't get arrested. What can get you arrested at the beach? Open containers, public drunkenness, public urination, and I'm guessing public fornication.

Finally, hooking up on the beach can be utterly romantic, but look out for crabs.